What Are The Most Common Symptoms Of A Gambling Addiction?

[ Simpsons ] Homer is abusive to Marge, and their marriage is awful

This is my first time posting on this sub, so sorry if this makes no sense, or if it's been done before
Simpsons is a relatively endearing show, occasionally touching base on some heartfelt issues, but mostly sticking with it's goofy, hilarious theme. However, the one thing that has always bugged me is Homer and Marge together, and I think I now know why. Homer is loud, crude, and apathetic; almost a complete opposite of Marge. Their marriage was going well when they first met, but it slowly got worse, and it completely sunk when Homer became abusive.
  1. Marge shows a good amount of symptoms of abuse. https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-someone-is-being-abused-66535
She is constantly apologetic to everyone, and seems almost afraid of Homer. In multiple episodes, we learn how Marge was brought up, being taught that she should repress her feelings, not make waves, be polite, smile, ETC. And the worst thing is, Homer supports her acting like this, all because he doesn't want her to leave him. She acts on edge, anxious, and has a surprisingly low self-esteem. She is always cleaning or taking care of her children, which is a common stress symptom, possibly in order to stop herself from saying or expressing any emotions. When we see her before she married Homer, she was a confident, free spirited person who wasn't afraid to express herself, and now she is timid and does pretty much anything she is asked. Another symptom she shows is developing an addiction to something such as drugs or alcohol. She doesn't develop a drug problem, per se, but in You Only Move Twice, she develops a wine addiction, in Co-dependents day, she develops an alcohol problem, and in $pringfield, she is seen spending practically weeks on end gambling at a casino.
  1. Homer is awful to everyone, especially Marge.
Lets go back through a few episodes and name some of the absolutely disgusting things Homer has done to Marge, shall we?
Season 1, episode 9: Homer forgets Marge's birthday, then completely ruins it. He gives her a bowling ball with his name on it, in hopes that she will give it to him.
Season 2, episode 10: Homer tries to bully Marge into lying in court, and when she doesn't, he throws a fit and declares that he no longer loves her.
Season 4, episode 2: May lord have mercy on Marge Simpson's soul for trying to have a hobby for once. She scores lead role in a theater production, and Homer ignores her every step of the way, insisting that all of her hobbies are stupid and frugal.
Season 5, episode 22: Homer inconsiderately tells all of Springfield Marge's deep, personal secrets. When she finally manages to do something right and overcome her fear of him, she kicks him out of the house. Homer then guilttrips her into taking him back.
Season 15, episode 15: Homer drives while drunk, with a sleeping Marge in the passenger seat. He crashes over the side of a bridge, and the car lands upside down. When the cops show up, he moves Marge, who's still asleep, over to the drivers side and escapes so it looks like she was driving. He literally framed Marge.
Season 14, episode 4: Their relationship has become so toxic, Marge feels she is not desirable enough. To please Homer, she undergoes surgery and has liposuction and implants done.
  1. We see Homer flirting with women other then Marge multiple times.
In war of the Simpsons, he was eyeing Maude's chest. In Homer's night out, he gets a little too cozy with a belly dancer. In the last temptation of Homer, he falls in love with his coworker, Mindy. In Viva Ned Flanders, he LITERALLY GETS MARRIED to someone in Vegas. I don't care if he stays with Marge everytime, this relationship is not healthy in the slightest!
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My modest guide to developing a healthier relationship with the Internet

I used to spend a lot of time online. I'd wake up and swap from one app to the next for an hour, sometimes for 2-3 rounds. I'd lay down of my couch whenever I'd have 5 minutes and end up spending 2 hours reading useless stuff. I'd spend entire days on YouTube, especially when I was hungover. I was sleeping like shit and eating like shit. I had a hard time focusing on single tasks, which made writing my master's thesis (in literature & philosophy, mind you) impossible. I tried to quit half a dozen times without success. I would delete all apps and install blockers, but eventually, inexorably, I would relapse. I felt like shit, and the fact that I failed at quitting would make me feel even worse.
What you want is a reliable system, somewhat rigid but flexible enough to be applied to multiple platforms. At some point, I had no choice but to find a way to learn how to focus again to avoid academic failure, so I came up with a much different strategy, one that I rarely see here. Over time, I kinda intellectualized what worked for me into a comprehensible system, so here it is lads. The system is composed of a theorical and a practical part, the former being the foundational ideas behind the latter, which is the concrete actions you take to reduce your screentime.
But Beforehand, you want to go through a phase of evaluation: - Step -1: Install StayFree or another usage tracker on your phone, collect data for a few days, then evaluate where your time is the most wasted, which apps need to be cut. - Step 0: Take a moment to ponder why you spend so much time on these apps. Introspect, light up some good 10% sativa 5% CBD dontdodrugskids and write down. It might be depression, social anxiety or boredom. But I can pretty much garantee that we all spend so much time on YouTube, Facebook et al. because it's too goddamn comfortable. Not only is the World Wide Web physically non-demanding, it's most often mentally non-challenging. The perfect formula; a state of bliss that the lazy mind will always long to go back to. This realization was absolutely essential as it shaped everything that's to come.

Theorical foundations

1. Turning the addiction upside-down
This will be controversial, but I don't believe in cold turkey as an efficient method of stopping internet addiction. It didn't work for me and I have reason to think it might not for a majority of people. I tried deleting the apps, but no matter how much barriers I'd install, I'd eventually get around them. As I just said, the Internet is too comfortable. There's a reason why we ditch hobbies like reading, writing, arts, playing music, sports, stuff we actually enjoy, to spend our time aimlessly consuming vacuous content. These hobbies might be fun, but they're hard. Turns out (shocking!) that the most long-term rewarding experiences of life are often its hardest. For the WWW surfer, the Internet is a space of no risk, where you can "achieve" stuff without ever failing. I found that by removing the addictive platforms altogether, they'd always keep their aura of comfort in my mind, and whenever arduous days would come, they'd act as a shelter to crawl back to.
What you want instead, is to disarm the addictive nature of these platforms by modifying their interface and removing what makes them comfortable. That way, when you feel down, they won't be that warm, cozy cover to crawl back to, they'll be a cold, hostile place that offer no comfort. It's basically done by removing all the mindless content and taking back control over what you see. There's many ways to do it; I'll talk about this in detail in the practical section. It's basically a guerilla battle between you and the casino designers of the GAFAM. I used to unconsciously click on the Facebook icon 30 times a day for no reason; I couldn't do anything about it, it was mechanical, muscle memory. By removing the app, I'd end up using chrome. By changing Facebook itself, I'd still open the app only to realize it had become this dry environment and I'd close it immediately.
It is well known on this sub that the WWW is a sea of worthless information. It has the problem of being 1) mostly vacuous, 2) too proliferating and 3) too diverse. The issue is twofold: quality and quantity. This is exactly what we will target. The whole strategy is to reduce the amount of information available to us and increase the qualitative value of what's left.
2. The philosopher's stance
Become a philosopher online. Question everything you do, why you do it, what you'll really get out of it. Think of it as doing your groceries: do you just pick random stuff here and there and call it quits? No, you plan ahead your meals, "tuesday night I'll eat spaghetti so I need pasta and sauce, then wednesday...". Consume online content like you do your groceries. "What personal purpose does watching this YouTube video would have?" This is the part that will require an active consistent effort, but, a bit like meditation, over time you'll start noticing how your mind works. I still remember after a few days of "dulling" my YouTube recommendations, one video got through the "defenses", something like "THE 10 MOST CANADIAN THINGS EVER!!!!" with the most outrageous thumbnail, like a fucking grizzly bear mauling a national guard riding a moose or some shit, and my mind immediately went HOLY FUCK I WANNA SEE THAT. Like drugs in a sea of boring content.
Issue of quantity: being conscious about your online actions also means reflecting on what type of content you deem worthy or not of watching/reading. Ideally, the online content would support your IRL hobbies and goals; in that sense, the Internet should become an educative tool. To help reduce the proliferation and diversity of information, I imposed myself a rule of 5: no more than 5 subscriptions. You could make it the rule of 3, 6, whatever. Stay low, and ideally remain in the space of one field so you disarm the diversity issue.
Issue of quality: It is with this mindfulness that you will filter the rest of the content by constantly pre-evaluating its quality, objectively and relatively to your goals. Don't kid yourself here, you really need to be a severe judge. I wanted my YouTube to become a philosophy educational tool, but I didn't just subscribe to Wisecrack, Philosophy of Life, or other shitty washed down-channel; I went for recorded university lectures or in-depths presentations, the kind of videos that last 45 minutes, with 29 views and have only power point as visual aid. I would expect a physician to pursue information deeper than Vsauce. You get the drift. True high-quality content is out there, and if it's not (depending on your interests), then there's no point to be there.
Of course, staying 24/7 alert about what you do online can be pretty difficult, so we'll adopt some fail-safe procedures to ensure/help mindfulness. This will be done mostly by adding the number of steps leading to content consumption through exploiting certain built-in features.
3. Healthy replacements
I won't talk much about this since it's pretty self-explanatory and has been covered extensively. When you remove 95% of your WWW usage, you'll have time, a lot of time. Please, find (or rediscover) healthy hobbies as replacements. Yes, keeping up with those hobbies will be hard, especially after your mind has been accustomed to the brainless surfing of social media.

Concrete actions

Now for the practical part. Every platform requires a different strategy using a plethora of tweaking and addons, so I'll share exactly what worked for me. This was tailored to my personal addictions, so you might have to adjust your strategy if you want to cut back on stuff I had no problem with. Unfortunately, phones are designed with much less flexibility given to the user; this is where you'll need to get creative.
YouTube was definitely the biggest internet addiction I had to deal with, hence this is where I put the most effort. I can say confidently that I managed to reduce my YouTube usage to like 2-5% of what it was. I'm quite proud of my strategy here.
You don't want to block YouTube because it's pretty useful when you want to show a video to a friend, to listen to music, or to search actual useful info (such as tutorials). Anyway, it would always be accessible with incognito mode or the browser on phone. Instead, for desktop, install Hide Recommendations addon. This addon is brilliant. This will center the video on the screen, remove Home & sidebar recommendations and comments, effectively transforming desktop YT into a search engine only. When you arrive on the homepage, all you'll see is the search bar. By doing this, you remove the ability to watch random content, as all you can watch is what you actively seek. Conscious actions.
Phone app is another story. Ultimately, the best would be a lightweight client apk that would have the same effect as HideRec, but I never found that was doing this/working/kept updated. If any of you has something I'm open for suggestions. So what I did was to take complete control over the recommendations. Here's what I exactly did:
- Unsuscribe from every channel. - History > Clear all watch history (don't pause watch history just yet), then Clear all search history (same) - (You might want to delete all cookies. I don't know if YT uses it for recommendations and can't remember if I did this.) - Find some high-quality content (this step is crucial so make sure to set your standards high; in my case it was recorded university lectures) and watch them. Suscribe to a few good channels (<= 5). Actually, you don't really need to watch them, just chain-open the videos so you are artificially creating a watch history. - YouTube will not want to recommend those videos to you as true high-quality content has usually low user participation, but eventually the algorithm will have no choice but to show it. Meanwhile, since your watch history is still young, it will pop up trending videos for a while. Make sure to not watch any of those as they would corrupt your recommendations like cancer. When you see them, click on the three dots and select Not interested. You will filter out the crap over time. Stay alert. - After a while, your recommendations will consist exclusively of true high-quality content. When that happens, go back to history and pause watch history & search history. - If you can't find any high-quality content for your fields of interests, an alternative is the sabotage technique. Basically, you choose a subject that absolutely bores you and do the same process.
Congratulations, you have now dealt with the problem of poor quality. Now we tackle the issue of quantity. This is where you adopt the philosopher's stance I was talking about. "Is this video really gonna teach me something useful in relation to my goals?" To help you do this, use the Watch later feature: every time something interesting pops up, don't watch it immediately, put it in the watch later list. Schedule a timeframe for watching YT and review your list then. You will realize that you in fact have no interest in most videos after you slept on it. If you do choose to watch one, immediately go full screen; don't look at related videos and don't look at comments. Only when the video is over you might review if reading the comments would serve a purpose; this will reinforce your ability to focus on a single task. I have no manipulation technique to help here, sorry.
YouTube can be very useful when manipulated to its full potential. All I had for a long time was 60 minutes lectures about Leibniz. I learned a lot about certain fields of philosophy with YT, many of that knowledge ending up being directly included in my master's thesis. Over time, you will lose complete interest in YT since watching it will be as hard, if not harder, than your healthy replacements.
Quick note: you can also go to Settings > Notifications and turn down Recommended videos. In conjuction with the watch history paused, I found that this effectively froze my recommendations in time. With this, I've been having the same uninteresting videos on my homepage for a year. However, it seems the algorithm cheats a bit here, especially recently, as it gradually adds related videos to what I watch (music mostly). You still get the odd trending recommendation once in a while.
Let's be honest, Facebook is cancer, but it's useful. At the time, I needed Facebook for my job (we had a group for shift changes). So I made an empty account and deactivated my main account. Don't accept anybody's friend request: your alt is not there to become a new account. Since Facebook won't have anything to show you, and will know very little about you, it will pop up poorly targeted ads (the ones that the marketer has chosen too little attributes).
Where I live, Facebook is used as the main social calendar organizer. If you're not of Facebook, you won't get invited to parties, and people don't really remember to invite you by messaging. It ended up being pretty isolating (fine in my case because I needed the time to write, but not efficient if you want to be more social). Some features, such as Marketplace and searching public events in your area (a traveller's treasure), are pretty cool.
Addons can hide the newsfeed, but your phone will still show it. As I said earlier, deleting the app wasn't useful. The common trick here is to unfollow (not unfriend) from all your friends, pages and groups. The result is the same as with YouTube: you can still access all the content but you claim complete control over what you see. Click on the down arrow in the top-right corner > News Feed Preferences > Unfollow people and groups to hide their posts. You'll have to unfollow everyone manually. It takes a while but it's worth it. Works for desktop and mobile. Make it boring.
I really don't know what to say here. This social media serves no purpose but to make everybody miserable, and humanity as a whole would be better if it got rid of this garbage app altogether. Fuck Instagram, fuck influencers, and fuck Zuck. Delete it.
I was a latecomer to Instagram and never got addicted, so I have no suggestion if you are. This is where I deleted the app instead of making boring like the rest of my system. I did end up using the browser once in a while, especially when I wanted to look up girls I met (guilty lol). But I'd guess unfollowing everybody and not posting would do the trick. Insist on not using it for messaging, as it lures you in its snares. Standalone messaging apps only.
Ah, Reddit...! Perhaps the sneakiest one. Some subs have been treasures of information. The real problem is the homepage, where info goes in all directions (quantity and diversity issue). So first, purge your subscriptions to come down to 5 subs (or 3, or whatever). Even better if you focus on a single subject. For example, you could concentrate on outdoors and only keep CampingGear, Bushcraft and Ultralight. Try to steer away from subs that are too general, as they usually usually present the quantity and diversity issue themselves. Avoid all at all cost. You can also block home and all, but this only works on desktop. For mobile, refocusing your subs is the way to go. Keep questioning your actions as always. Digital minimalism.

Moving forward

I will absolutely stand behind my system instead of cold turkey, no matter what. Cold turkey is a radical option, but there lies its problem. Changing your beliefs towards the WWW and rewriring your brain takes time. Cold turkey, in that sense, is a method that ironically give into this culture of instant gratification that the Internet is the symptom and part of the cause. We want immediate change, but this line of thinking is inefficient. Even heavy drug addicts don't go cold turkey in rehab (given a progressive rehab center). Manipulating your interfaces into making them boring, on the contrary, is a sustainable method; the drug itself becomes uninteresting. As long as you maintain them in this dull state, you have no incentive to spend more time there. In my experience, this minimal maintenance and the conscious critical thinking require much less willpower than cold turkey. I did give up a little during covid confinment (I thought fuck it, nothing to do), suscribed to more than 5 subs, got into facebook debates, but thanks my dull interfaces, my usage went back to maybe 20% instead of 100%.
That doesn't mean that the desire to go back to comfortable, easy, no-risk activities will go away. I'm pretty sure our ancestors battled with the same demons as us, in other forms (perhaps poorly designed). You could end up spending all your free time watching TV and you wouldn't be much better off. Getting off the Internet is only part of a larger, constant fight. That's life.
I welcome any question, comment, suggestion.
submitted by PaulChomedey to nosurf [link] [comments]

How You Can Trick Brain To Like Doing Hard Things (Dopamine Detox)

You probably don't have a problem playing video games or browsing social media on your phone. In fact, I have no doubt you could sit in front of a screen and do both of those activities for 2 hours, or even longer without breaking your concentration.
But what about half an hour of studying? Oof. That might be too hard. How about working on your side business for another hour?
Hmm. It doesn't sound too appealing. Even though you logically know that studying, exercising, building a business or something equally productive, will bring you more benefits in the long run, you still prefer watching TV, playing video games and scrolling through social media. One might argue that it's obvious why.
One activity is easy and doesn't require much effort, while the other activity is difficult and it requires you to apply yourself. But some people seem to have no problem studying, exercising, or working on their side projects, regularly.
Which begs the question: Why are some people more motivated to tackle difficult things? And is there a way to make doing difficult things, easy?
Dopamine is often considered a pleasure molecule. But that's not quite what it does. Dopamine is what makes us desire things. And it's that desire that gives us the motivation to get up and do stuff.
If you're not sure how powerful dopamine is, let me introduce you to a few experiments neuroscientists did on rats.
The researchers implanted electrodes in the brains of rats. Whenever the rat pulled a lever, the researchers stimulated the rat's reward system in the brain.
The result was that the rats developed a craving so strong they kept pulling the lever, over and over for hours. The rats would refuse to eat or even sleep.
They would just keep pressing the lever until they would drop from exhaustion. But then the process was reversed. The researchers blocked the release of dopamine in the brain's reward center.
As a result, rats became so lethargic that even getting up to get a drink of water was not worth the effort. They wouldn't eat. They didn't want to mate.
They didn't crave anything at all. You could say that the rats lost all will to live. However, if food was placed directly in their mouths, the rats would still eat and enjoy the food.
They just didn't have the motivation to get up and do it themselves. You would think that it's thirst or hunger that motivates us to get food or water.
But there's also dopamine that plays a key role here. Those rat experiments might be extreme cases. But you can see similar effects dopamine has on humans and in our daily lives.
In fact, your brain develops priorities in large part based on how much dopamine it's expecting to get. If an activity releases too little dopamine, you won't have much motivation to do it.
But if an activity releases a lot of dopamine, you'll be motivated to repeat it, over and over. So which behaviors release dopamine? Any activity where you anticipate there's a potential reward, releases it.
But if you know there are no immediate rewards with the behavior, your brain won't release it.
For example, before you eat comfort food, your brain releases dopamine, because you anticipate that the food will make you feel good. Even if it actually makes you feel worse.
That's because your brain doesn't even care if the high dopamine activity is damaging to you. It just wants more of it.
A stereotypical example would be someone who's a drug addict. He knows that what he's doing is not good for him. But all he wants is to get more of that drug.
Besides getting you high, cocaine and heroin release unnatural amounts of dopamine, which in turn makes you crave them even more.
Of course, it has to be noted that nearly everything releases some amount of dopamine. Even drinking water when you're thirsty, does.
But the highest dopamine release happens when you get a reward randomly. One such example is playing on a slot machine in a casino.
Even if you've only been losing money until that point, you eventually expect to get a bigger reward. You just don't know when it could happen.
And in today's digital society, we are flooding our brains with unnaturally high amounts of dopamine on a daily basis, even if we don't know it.
Some examples of high dopamine behaviors include: scrolling through social media websites, playing video games, watching internet pornography, etc.
We anticipate some sort of reward with each one of those behaviors. That's why we're constantly checking our phones. We expect to see a text message or some other notification.
And we know that eventually we're going to receive it. We're becoming like those rats pulling the lever, tying to get a new dopamine hit.
And you might think, "Oh so what?" "It's not like it's harming me in any way." But you'd be wrong. Our bodies have a biological system called homeostasis.
It means that our body likes to keep internal physical and chemical conditions at a balanced level. Whenever an imbalance occurs, our body adapts to it.
Let me give you an example: When it's cold outside, our body temperature falls. And as a result, we start shivering to generate heat and warm the body.
However, when it's hot outside, our body temperature rises. And we start sweating to lose some of that heat. Essentially our body is looking to maintain a temperature of around 37 degrees Celsius or 98 degrees Fahrenheit, no matter what.
But there is another way homeostasis manifests itself, and that is through tolerance. For example, someone who rarely drinks alcohol will get drunk really fast.
But someone who drinks on a regular basis will have to drink more alcohol because their body has developed a tolerance to it.
Essentially it takes more and more alcohol to make them drunk because they've become less sensitive to its effects. And it's not much different with dopamine.
Your body tries to maintain homeostasis, so it down-regulates your dopamine receptors. Essentially your brain gets used to having high levels of dopamine and those levels become your new normal.
Thus you develop a dopamine tolerance. This can be a huge problem, because the things that don't give you as much dopamine, don't interest you any longer.
And it's much more difficult to motivate yourself to do them. They feel bored and less fun because they don't release as much dopamine, compared to the things that do release it in high amounts.
That's why people tend to prefer playing video games or browsing the internet, compared to studying or working on their business.
Video games make us feel good and comfortable, as they release a lot of dopamine. Sadly things like working hard or reading releases it in lower amounts.
This is one of the reasons why drug addicts who try to quit, have a hard time adjusting to a normal life. Their dopamine tolerance gets so high that normal life isn't able to match it.
They become like those rats from previous experiments who have no motivation to do anything if there's not enough dopamine release.
And it's not just drug addicts. People who are addicted to video games, social media or internet pornography experience the same thing.
Once their dopamine tolerance gets too high, they simply aren't able to enjoy low dopamine behaviors.
Which begs the question: Is there anything that can be done to prevent this? The answer is you need to perform a dopamine detox.
By now might already have an idea what dopamine detox is going to look like. What you're going to do is set aside a day, where you're going to avoid all the highly stimulating activities.
You're going to stop flooding your brain with high amounts of dopamine and you're going to let your dopamine receptors recover.
Just a disclaimer: If you're suffering from drug addiction, then I suggest you seek professional help, as you've probably formed a physiological and psychological dependence. And I don't want you to experience any extreme withdrawal symptoms.
Now back to the detox.
For 1 whole day you will try to have as little fun as possible. You won't be using the internet, or any technology like your phone or computer.
You're not allowed to listen to music, you're not allowed to masturbate or eat any junk food. Basically, you're going to remove all sources of external pleasure for the entire day.
You're going to embrace boredom. And trust me, there will be a lot of boredom. You are however allowed to do the following: Go for a walk.
Meditate and be alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your life and goals. Write down any ideas you get.
Not on your computer or phone, but on a physical piece of paper. All of this might seem quite intense. But if you want radical results and you want them fast, you need to be able to take radical action.
Now you might be asking yourself: Why would this even work? You can think of it this way. Let's say that you've been eating every single meal at the best restaurant in your town.
As a result, what happened is that those fancy meals became your new normal. If someone offered you a bowl of plain rice, you would probably refuse.
It simply wouldn't taste as good as your usual restaurant meal. But if you suddenly find yourself stranded on a deserted island and you're starving, suddenly that bowl of plain rice doesn't seem so bad.
And that is what the dopamine detox does. It starves you of all the pleasure you usually get, and in turn, it makes those less satisfying activities more desirable.
To put it simply: Dopamine detox works because you become so bored, that boring stuff becomes more fun. Now if you don't want to take such extreme action and starve yourself of all the pleasure, you can perform a smaller dopamine detox.
You're going to pick one day of the week, where you're going to refrain from one of your high dopamine behaviors completely.
Whatever that behavior might be. Maybe checking your phone all the time, playing video games on your computer, binge-watching TV, eating junk food, watching internet pornography, whatever.
And from now on, every single week for one whole day, you're going to avoid that activity. You can still do other things, but the behavior you pick is off-limits.
Yes, you will feel slightly bored, but that's the point. You want to let your dopamine receptors recover from the unnaturally high dopamine that's been flooding your brain.
And boredom is going to propel you to do other things that day. Things that you would normally put off because they don't release as much dopamine.
And because you're bored, it's easier for you to do them. Of course, avoiding high dopamine behavior once in a while is good. But ideally you should avoid those behaviors altogether, or at least as much as possible.
Instead, you want to connect more dopamine to the things that will actually benefit you. And what I found is that your current high dopamine activities can serve as an incentive to pursue things, that actually give you those long term benefits.
In other words, you could use your high dopamine activity, as a reward for completing difficult work. And this is exactly what I do myself.
I track all the difficult, low dopamine work I do. Cleaning my apartment, practicing the piano, reading books, doing some sort of exercise, creating these videos, etc.
After I'm able to get a certain amount of work done, I reward myself with some amount of high dopamine activity at the end of the day.
The keywords here are: after, and, at the end of the day. If I indulge in high dopamine behavior first, then I'm not going to feel like doing the low dopamine work.
I'm simply not going to be motivated enough. So I always start with the difficult things, only then I allow myself to indulge in high dopamine activities.
To give you an example: For every completed hour of low dopamine work, I reward myself with 15 minutes of high dopamine behavior at the end of the day.
That means that for 8 hours of low dopamine, I allow myself roughly 2 hours of high dopamine behavior.
Of course, these are my ratios. You can tweak them to your liking. Also, it has to be noted that if you're addicted to something that's damaging to your health, then you don't want to treat that behavior as a reward.
Instead find a different reward, that's not as damaging. One that you still think is worth the effort. And if you're wondering what my guilty pleasure is, it's the Internet.
I can easily get lost there for hours without doing anything else. That's why I have this system. It's so I'm able to control my addiction.
But make no mistake, even with this system, I still plan days where I abstain from high dopamine activities completely.


To conclude this, I want to say that, it is possible to make doing difficult things, feel easier. But when your brain is getting so much dopamine all the time, you won't be as excited about working on something that doesn't release much of it.
That's why you might want to limit your phone and computer usage, along with other high dopamine-releasing behavior.
And I can tell you that it's definitely worth it. So if you have motivation problems, start dopamine detoxing your brain as soon as possible.
Separate yourself from the unnaturally high amounts of dopamine, or at least expose yourself to it far less frequently. Only then will normal, every day, low dopamine activities, become exciting again and you'll be able to do them for longer.
We are all dopamine addicts to a certain extent. And that's a good thing because dopamine motivates us to achieve our goals and improve ourselves.
But it's up to you to decide where you're going to get your dopamine from. Are you going to get it from things that don't benefit you? Or are you going to get it from working on your long term goals? The choice is yours.
Credits: https://youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk
submitted by tanujsarva to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]

Day zero - NO MORE

I’ve been a gambling addict for 8 years.
To think I have wasted 8 years of my life a prisoner to the casinos makes me incredibly sad. What could I have done with all that time, and all that money? I could have learned a new skill, I could have read so many books, walked my dogs more, enjoyed the sun set along the beach I used to walk several times a week, given more to my relationships, bettered my own mental health. I could have done so much.
I have decided today is the last day I think “I could have” and face my demons head on. I’d like to have something to look back on when I am struggling, so I thought I’d leave a post here as I’ve read many of your stories and it helps to know I am not alone. Maybe someone will read this and feel the same.
I am a female based in the UK in her early 30s, and I am addicted to online slots. I can vividly remember one of the first times I knew I had a problem with gambling, and shamefully it was around the time I started. From the first time a winning line slid into view and coins exploded all over the screen I have been chasing that high. It’s not about the winnings, I can safely say no win would ever be enough for me, when I won any money I would gamble it all back because it was that fleeting moment of winning that I crave. Did it matter that I’d spent £500 to win £50? Nope, my brain just saw that “big win” line and fireworks would go off in my brain. That hit of pure joy followed by the depths of despair as I gambled it all back into the system.
I’ve lost hundreds of thousands of pounds (not an exaggeration and I am extremely lucky I am not in debt to that tune) yet I must not focus on what is gone and cannot be reclaimed back anymore as today I admit I have a problem that must be dealt with immediately.
I feel my soul hurt from gambling all night, until the sun came up this morning and I plied money into the one account I hadn’t set a limit on yet. I’ve easily spent £1000+ this week and I have nothing to show for it. I black out when gambling, losing track of how much I am depositing until I check my back account and feel that rip of fear across my body at how much I have spent. I feel sick, I want to throw my phone across the wall and scream into the darkness of the void I have created.
I have self excluded myself from all the casinos I joined, for at least 5 years. To even think ahead that far is terrifying, so I downloaded the Nomo app (thank you to all who’ve mentioned it on this subreddit) and even as I was putting in the start time for my clock I thought “maybe one last deposit THEN I’ll start”. And therein was my problem, it is always just one more, just one more deposit, just one more spin of the slots, just one more hour, just ONE MORE. So I set the time for that exact moment and came on here to leave my mark of the day I said NO MORE instead.
I will also be deleting any “candy crush” type games on my phone because they also give me that rush of endorphins when I win a level and I’m sick of finding that high from my phone, and whilst I’m baring my truths I also spend at least £100 a month on coins for it. Once again I say NO MORE.
I want to find the joy in real life again, in the everyday moments because I am so conditioned to that gambling high that nothing matches it. That is possibly the saddest realisation of all this, I am not alive, just existing, due to this addiction. I have no doubt it contributes to my anxiety, and I’ve always said I’m just one of those people who is programmed this way instead of taking some responsibility for my actions which exacerbate the symptoms.
I know it will be tough, I know there will be moments when all I want to do is gamble and I must be prepared for that. My husband knows about my gambling but not the extent of it, so once I have pressed post on this I will let him read this, I am so ashamed of myself in this moment, the thought of owning up to my actions makes me want to vomit but I must be truthful from this point if I am going to beat this.
So from today, from this cold hard floor of rock bottom, I say NO MORE.
submitted by volklinbed to GamblingAddiction [link] [comments]

Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ Oct. 1, 2001

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
1-1-2001 1-8-2001 1-15-2001 1-22-2001
1-29-2001 2-5-2001 2-12-2001 2-19-2001
2-26-2001 3-5-2001 3-12-2001 3-19-2001
3-26-2001 4-2-2001 4-9-2001 4-16-2001
4-23-2001 4-30-2001 5-7-2001 5-14-2001
5-21-2001 5-28-2001 6-4-2001 6-11-2001
6-18-2001 6-25-2001 7-2-2001 7-9-2001
7-16-2001 7-23-2001 7-30-2001 8-6-2001
8-13-2001 8-20-2001 8-27-2001 9-3-2001
9-10-2001 9-17-2001 9-25-2001
  • The wrestling industry in the United States is in uncharted waters right now and Dave is starting this issue by examining the overall situation. Part of it is due to outside factors. The mood of the country is still shaken by the events of 9/11 and the effects of the attack on the economy are still uncertain. WWF is the only major pro wrestling company and its closest competitor is UFC, which isn't even wrestling. Dave says it's been a horrible year for the business, with WCW and ECW folding. Wrestling magazines closing up shop. The Invasion angle was totally botched. By every metric, business is declining. It's a terrible time to start a new company in the U.S. because getting a major league product off the ground is a just too expensive. Dave thinks the WWA idea in Australia might be the best option right now. Build some buzz over there where the market is easier and then try to strike a deal to air it in the U.S. But the biggest problem with WWA is, well, Vince Russo is the guy in charge. Dave says that Russo's idea of wrestling was a massive failure in WCW and the problem is that he didn't learn from it, and to this day continues to blame his WCW failures on outside forces (18 years later, that hasn't changed). Dave expects WWF to feel the crunch of business declining and suspects that many of the low-paid developmental wrestlers under contracts should probably start being concerned for their jobs.
  • WWF and DirecTV struck a temporary deal to air the Unforgiven PPV. If you recall, they have been negotiating a new deal and it wasn't going well. But the two sides agreed to air Unforgiven under the terms of the old deal while they continue to negotiate a new one. Not airing the show would have cost both sides around $1 million each in lost profits, so needless to say, they both want to settle this. So for now, negotiations continue...
  • The unpredictable concerns over the economy in the wake of 9/11 are already becoming noticeable. Merch sales for WWF were down significantly since the attacks. House shows this week did okay but most of those tickets were bought when they first went on sale weeks and months ago, prior to the attack. The next round of house shows go on sale this week and seeing how those sell will be the real test. One WWF house show in Fairfax, VA was already cancelled this week due to low advance sales. WWF is also scheduled to return to Madison Square Garden in 2 weeks. Tickets for that show went on sale before 9/11 and were already weak and needless to say, they aren't picking up any steam now. Rock is working that show (one of the few house shows he's doing) and it seems that since returning from filming Scorpion King, even the Rock doesn't have the same drawing power he had beforehand. That being said, WWF has lots of revenue streams, lots of cash reserves, lots of stock they can sell, and they pay their wrestlers far less than any other sport. So WWF is uniquely positioned to weather this storm and probably still be okay.
  • For UFC, on the other hand, 9/11 couldn't have happened at a worse time. UFC's parent company Zuffa is based out of Las Vegas and the attacks have hit the Vegas casino business hard, with cancelled trips, people spending less money, etc. Nobody wants to get on a plane these days, much less just to fly to Vegas and throw away money in an uncertain economy. Zuffa owner Lorenzo Fertitta, who operates casinos in Vegas, also owns an investment company whose major offices were in the World Trade Center. Financially, Fertitta is getting hit on all sides right now, right as he's trying to get the revived UFC off the ground.
  • Oh yeah, speaking of WWF Unforgiven, that show is in the books and was highlighted by Kurt Angle winning the WWF title from Steve Austin in his hometown by making Austin tap out clean. The crowd was kinda flat for most of the show, despite a lot of good matches. From a long-term booking standpoint, Angle winning the title doesn't make a ton of sense, because there's a lot of mileage in Austin as champion, but it seemed as though the decision was made to give the crowd a feel-good ending considering the last few weeks the country has had (Bruce Prichard later admitted that, yeah, having Angle win the title here was purely a short-term "give the American audience something patriotic" decision). There were also a bunch of minor injuries during the show with Perry Saturn, Edge, Jericho, and Austin all got busted up lips or eyes.
  • The biggest story coming out of the show was the UndertakeKane vs. Kronik match which was so bad that it resulted in Kronik leaving the company after only debuting 3 weeks ago. Dave says it was the worst WWF PPV match of the year. No word on why Kronik left yet (some say they quit after the match and others say they were fired) but they have already reached out to Russo about working the WWA tour in Australia. The big story going around is that Jim Ross told them they would be sent to OVW or HWA for more training and in protest, they quit but Dave hasn't been able to verify that. If it's true, Dave suspects WWF was hoping they would quit because those 2 guys have lots of experience (both have worked for WWF in the past) so Dave feels like this might have been a way to push them into quitting. Considering they're not great workers anyway and they were notorious troublemakers in WCW, Dave doesn't understand why they were even hired in the first place, aside from the fact that Brian Adams and Undertaker are friends and it was basically a favor for Taker. (Dave clarifies a bit of this in later issues, not all of that is entirely correct).
  • Other notes from the PPV: Dave points out that Raven is in the best shape he's been in years. The first Edge vs. Christian match, which needed to be a star-making performance for both guys as they branch off as singles stars, was good but the lack of crowd reaction hurt it a lot. The aforementioned Kronik match gets negative-2 stars. RVD was one of the few guys to get a reaction, as the crowd was nuclear for him. This is the match where Jericho got his eye busted from a kick and needed stitches and Dave says RVD is getting a reputation for this sort of thing, which isn't good. And Angle's family celebrated with him in the ring after he won the title and they played it up as if he finally achieved his life-long dream, conveniently forgetting that Angle's already won the title once before. Lots of 3 and 4 star matches here, but the crowd really hurt the show overall.
  • UFC 33 is happening before you read this but after press time, so Dave hasn't seen it yet. And I wouldn't normally cover this but this show is legendarily bad, so here we go. Things were looking good at first. The show sold out weeks in advance, setting a record live gate and attendance for the company and UFC did a hell of a job promoting the main event for months beforehand. But then 9/11 happened and the economic woes of that are expected to take a toll on the buyrate. Then, due to 9/11, the high-profile Felix Trinidad vs. Bernard Hopkins boxing match got moved to within 24 hours of the UFC PPV, which is also expected to cause a major hit to UFC's PPV numbers. Then 10 days before the show, Vitor Belfort had to pull out of the show due to an arm injury in training, completely derailing the main event they spent months building. Vitor somehow fell through a glass window during training and suffered a horrible cut that required 40 stitches and partially severed his tricep. When he couldn't go, UFC scrambled to find a new, big name opponent for Tito Ortiz. First, they reached out to Ken Shamrock and offered him $180,000 to take the fight on a week's notice. Shamrock countered, asking for $500,000 and that pretty much ended those negotiations. So then Frank Shamrock was offered $150,000 but also turned it down, not wanting to risk his 4+ year unbeaten streak by taking a fight on such short notice with no time to train and prepare. It eventually went to Russian fighter Vladimir Matyushenko. Many insiders are predicting Matyushenko will win because he's a better wrestler and punches harder. Dave gives credit to Ortiz for also taking this fight without having time to prepare for it and thinks it's a hell of a risk for Ortiz. So we'll see.
  • Antonio Inoki and the promoters from PRIDE and K-1 held a joint press conference in Japan to announce another Inoki New Year's Eve show taking place on 12/31. It will be a joint show with PRIDE fighters, K-1 fighters, and pro wrestlers. The hook for the show is that there's expected to be a lot of Inoki's guys (all of whom fight for PRIDE) going against K-1 fighters, so basically inter-promotional MMA with a wrestling twist.
  • The idea of Universal getting into the wrestling biz is back on the table and it looks to be a go starting in November. Hulk Hogan had been in talks with Universal off and on for most of this year about starting a new promotion but as of press time, word is Hogan is not involved in this. Hogan is said to be more interested in returning to WWF than he is running his own promotion but until his lawsuit with Time Warner (over the whole Vince Russo/Bash 2000 incident) is settled, he probably won't be doing anything. Hogan is trying to argue in the lawsuit that the incident damaged his career, and it's going to be hard to prove that if he goes back to WWF and has a big money-making run there. Plus he's still recovering from a recent knee surgery. Jimmy Hart has continued negotiating with Universal and it appears he and Nasty Boy Brian Knobs will be running this new promotion, with Kevin Sullivan helping with booking. A 2-hour pilot is scheduled for filming in November and several former WCW stars and other unsigned names (mostly old 80s stars) have been contacted about coming in. They're also looking at some younger indie names and seem especially interested in former ECW star Super Crazy. Dave expects this to be run like an old Memphis-style studio territory show and figures Jerry Lawler will probably be involved too unless he re-signs with WWF before then. Anyway, Dave doesn't seem to have high hopes for this succeeding (indeed, it does not).
  • And now we have an article from Ben Miller. Dave drops an editor's note and says to welcome Ben Miller as a columnist for the Observer and expects him to have a column in here once a month or so. It's fine I guess, but it's really just an opinion piece by some guy who isn't Dave. But to his credit, it's a well-written column that makes some good points about what WWF needs to do to improve and make the Invasion angle and upcoming brand split work. But it just feels out of place here in the Observer. I believe Miller later become a columnist on the website and was involved for years after this.
  • In Puerto Rico, former WWF wrestler Tiger Ali Singh now wrestles for IWA and since 9/11, he has become the biggest heel in the promotion, with the fans chanting "terrorist!" at him (just in case you're wondering, Singh is from India and is not Muslim).
  • Remember the MMA fighter Brian Johnston who suffered a major stroke backstage at the last PRIDE show? Good news! It was originally thought he would be paralyzed from it and confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but in the last few weeks, he's made a miraculous recovery, regaining a good deal of movement on his right side and is even able to stand with assistance. He still can't talk but he has total recognition of people who visit him. Doctors are optimistic that he will make a full recovery and should be able to walk again, although it would take an even bigger miracle for him to ever compete in MMA or wrestling again. (Here's an article about him from 2013. Long story short, he mostly recovered. He still suffers symptoms and doesn't have full motor control, but he recovered well enough to pretty much live a full life. But no, he never fought again).
READ: Brian Johnston: Where Is He Now?
  • Antonio Inoki finally made it back to Japan after being stranded in the U.S. after 9/11. As soon as he got back, he spoke with the media and criticized NJPW for the main event of their upcoming Tokyo Dome show, saying nobody wanted to see it and bashing them for not booking Fujita vs. Ogawa instead. Dave thinks this is some peak-WCW shit. The most popular icon in company history rips into his own company right before a big show, saying their main event sucks and nobody wants to see it. That's gonna do wonders for ticket sales. At least in WCW, the owners of the company weren't criticizing it publicly. While we're on the subject, Dave reviews the most recent NJPW TV show and says it's WCW-in-its-last-year levels of bad. Three different matches get negative star ratings. ("dAvE iS bIAsEd fOR neW jaPAn!")
  • Bushwhacker Butch was hospitalized this week with a staph infection. He had complained of a neck injury and then passed out and was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with staph and pneumonia. As of press time, he's still hospitalized and breathing through tubes (yeah he ended up getting sepsis and nearly dying).
  • In regards to the WWA tour in Australia, Vince Russo is reportedly pushing to have toplessness or maybe even full-frontal nudity for a women's bra & panties-type of match on the PPV they're filming. One of the women is former ECW/WCW valet Kimona/Leah Meow (so yeah, this match happened, but she wasn't in it. It was 3 women and a guy in drag, all nameless people who never went anywhere in the business. It was called a Skin To Win match. Two of the women (Penthouse Pets brought in to "wrestle" end up getting their tops taken off but they were wearing pasties because I assume they were forced to. When this PPV aired in the U.S., the match was edited off. Russo's brilliant billion dollar idea that would have revolutionized the industry, foiled by the censors again!).
  • Dave has been hearing rave reviews about a 4-way indie match featuring American Dragon, Low Ki, Christopher Daniels and Scoot Andrews, with many who saw it calling it the independent match of the year. Dave hasn't seen it yet but expects to have a tape in a week or two and will report back.
WATCH: American Dragon vs. Low Ki vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Scoot Andrews - 2001
  • The New York Times did an interview with Linda McMahon for a story about how WWF is handling the current real-world situation in the wake of 9/11. The story hasn't ran yet but it's expected to reference WWF's exploitation of the Gulf War in 1991. In the interview, Linda mentioned that the name 'Raw Is War' is going to be changed to simply 'Raw' and that the December PPV Armageddon will be renamed (it becomes Vengeance). She also admitted that the events of 9/11 did play a part in Kurt Angle winning the WWF title this past week (I completely forgot Linda admitted it here).
  • Notes from Raw: Dave says it was a strange show. For starters, the night before at the PPV, they talked about having a big birthday celebration for Stephanie on Raw the next night. But that didn't happen. Stephanie's birthday was acknowledged, but there was no big party or angle about it. They also spent the entire episode teasing what would happen when Austin showed up but the entire show aired and....he never arrived. Dave again points out that hyping something for 2 hours and then simply not delivering is some WCW shit (it's also some 2019 WWE shit). There were several little things like that throughout the show also. Dave thinks back to 18 months ago when WCW used to do dumb shit every episode and he would always write, "WWF would never do this," and here we are 18 months later and it's happening all the time. Shane McMahon announced a match with Kurt Angle defending the WWF title against Booker T, leading Dave to wonder how in the hell Shane, as part of the Alliance, has the authority to make WWF title matches. DDP is now doing a self-help gimmick (who'da ever guessed?). RVD has been getting over huge as a face lately, so of course they put him in a match with Rock (the most popular guy in the company) and had him lose clean, which accomplished nothing other than killing RVD's momentum.
  • Sean O'Haire got into a fight in the crowd at an indie MMA show last week and was actually choked out by another fighter before the police broke it up. The guy who choked him out was also a lot smaller than him, but he also came up behind O'Haire to do it. But size doesn't matter and Dave says when a trained fighter gets the jump on you from behind and puts you in a choke, you're probably going to sleep no matter how big you are. That being said, O'Haire is lucky he doesn't work for Bill Watts because losing a real fight (to someone smaller than you no less) as a pro wrestler would get you fired back in Watts' day. O'Haire and the other guy were arrested after O'Haire was awakened from his slumber.
  • Eddie Guerrero is expected to leave rehab soon. During his time in treatment, Guerrero has been living with Tom Prichard, who has also been battling some addiction issues. Guerrero is still being paid his downside guarantee and is expected to be brought back to TV when he's done with rehab. Dave talks about how some guys don't succeed in rehab but then points out how William Regal is seen as the best case scenario. Regal had a nasty drug habit and was on the verge of washing out of the business and being deported, but he cleaned himself up and is now back on WWF TV in a prominent role and doing great. Dave hopes the same for Guerrero. When he's out, he'll probably spend some time in OVW first before returning to WWF.
  • Jim Ross answered a bunch of media questions on some conference thing last week. It was mostly a discussion about the future plans for WCW and since there isn't any definite plan yet, he had to be vague. Praised Booker T, RVD, and Kanyon for being 3 of the WCW guys to adapt well to WWF. Others praised Hurricane for the same but Ross was kinda dismissive of him, seeming not to agree. Noted that Jazz from ECW has signed and will be working with Sharmell Sullivan in OVW. Speaking of Sharmell, she was pretty much only signed as a favor to Booker T. He also praised Rey Mysterio and Juventud Guerrera but basically said there's no place for them in WWF right now. Ross was asked about Ken Shamrock and praised him but said Shamrock has a lot of MMA stuff he wants to do and only wants to wrestle in WWF part-time. But they want him full-time, which is why he hasn't been brought back at all. In regards to Rock's blooming Hollywood career, Ross shrugged it off and basically said Rock is under contract to be a wrestler full-time and that's what he loves to do. Ross predicted that Rock may take off once a year to film a movie but that the WWF is his priority. Time will tell on that. If his movie career takes off, Dave doesn't see Rock sticking around.
  • Various WWF notes: the list of wrestlers who are hurt right now in WWF is absurd. Dave says it would be easier to list who's not hurt. Anyway, Dave lists everyone who's hurt, their injuries, their surgeries, when they're expected back, etc. There's going to be a WWF-themed episode of NBC's The Weakest Link show featuring WWF stars taping this week. Mick Foley is appearing on Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Shane McMahon was on the Opie & Anthony Show and was asked about Stephanie's breast implants, which led Shane to respond that "they are 2 good reasons to tune into Smackdown this week." Dave thinks that's kinda weird. Sara Undertaker has dyed her hair brown and is training to wrestle.
  • WWF is meeting with former WCW wrestler The Wall next month. He was originally going to be signed and brought in when they bought WCW, but then they learned he had a pretty nasty drug problem so they passed on him. Dave kinda doubts they'll hire him. He's big, but he's also not very good and already in his 30s with a drug strike against him. They might sign him and send him to developmental but they already have a ton of guys wasting away down there already.
  • If you've been noticing all the references to Ric Flair on WWF TV lately, it's not an accident. There has been a lot of consideration recently of buying out the remainder of his Time Warner contract. The reality is WWF has completely failed to create any new stars out of the WCW names they signed and if they are serious about running WCW as its own brand next year, they need big names. The other names discussed were Sting and Goldberg, but they both have a lot higher contracts with more time left on them and economically, it just doesn't make sense to WWF right now to bring them in. That being said, Dave kinda questions how valuable Ric Flair could be in WWF these days. WWF has a younger audience than WCW did and Flair isn't getting any younger. He can talk his ass off but as far as working matches, Dave doesn't seem to see much value in Flair as an in-ring guy beyond a few nostalgia matches with big name WWF stars. All in all, Dave feels like bringing in these big name WCW stars would have worked much better if they did it at the beginning of the angle months ago. Although in the end, it doesn't matter who they had. The way it was booked, with WWF just rolling over WCW like they were nothing and nobody wanting to sell for or put over the WCW stars, it would have still failed no matter who they had.
  • The latest on Triple H is that he isn't expected to make it back by Survivor Series as originally hoped. Now it's looking more like December (not quite).
FRIDAY: First season of Tough Enough comes to an end, WWF ordered to pay the World Wildlife Fund's legal bills, details on new XWF promotion, more on Kronik, NJPW ticket sales, and more...

► Observer Rewinds remaining: 13

submitted by daprice82 to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]

JNMIL’s GC is going to prison. DH feels bad for JNMIL, and I’m tired of seeing him get hurt.

I’m usually here writing about my own JNMom Shitterfly (though not often, because NC), but this one’s my JNMIL. She’s a whole other mess to unravel, so I just kinda...haven’t. Plus I’ve been VVVVVVVLC with her (we’ve spoken briefly two times over the last several years), and DH is LC, so she hasn’t been much of a factor in our lives for a long time. I’m worried she may be about to drag us in, though. This is a long one due to background to establish the kind of dumpster fire JNMIL and JNSIL are, so buckle up. If you want to skip background, look for the ————————. Also warning, I’m a bit all over the place right now, and this may be kind of sloppy.
Also, TW for accusation of CSA. It was a lie from JNSIL the literal psychopath, but still, heads-up.
The thing that hits me hardest about JNMIL is the fact we used to have a great relationship. We adored each other. She bragged on me to her friends, told DH if he ever left me she’d shoot him (jokingly), and she was the mother figure to me for years that Shitterfly never was. I loved her.
Then we moved about a hundred miles away for work. And had DD. And it started to sour.
She’s come to see us only three or four times in the seven years we’ve lived here, even though we’ve always had an open door policy—come and visit when you want, just call ahead to make sure schedules line up. We live in a quiet suburb outside a major city. She blames her lack of visits on being scared of driving in that city. Telling her we have never lived there and she can get to us without ever entering that city does nothing; she just reiterates that she’s scared to drive in that city. Never mind she can drive out of state to go to the casinos (which her own very much JY father has called her out on)—those penny slots are obviously much more worth driving for than her only granddaughter, who she was soooooo excited about.
Also, she does the “my baby” thing. Bitch, you can’t spell her name right after six years (it’s only five letters!), and forgot her birthday. She ain’t your baby. Fuck you.
Now, going further back, this insufferable harpy messed my DH up a LOT throughout his childhood. Both his parents were very JN, and divorced in his teens. FIL has done some growing though, and repaired the relationship and is MostlyYes now. We’re going to set him aside, because he was away for work a lot, and didn’t know many of these things were happening. I really think JNMIL did most of the damage, along with JNSIL, his older sister and the GC.
JNMIL used to let JNSIL beat on DH as much as she wanted. And that woman is a ham-fisted BRUTE. JNMIL would simply warn JNSIL that someday DH would be bigger than her, and go back to reading her trashy romance novels. JNSIL is a literal psychopath. Aside from beating DH up, she made multiple attempts to kill him throughout their childhood, including pushing him out of a second story window and a moving vehicle. He has the scars to prove it. It’s a miracle the man is alive. The beatings didn’t stop until he got big enough to turn it around on JNSIL, and finally mopped the floor with her the last time she attacked him.
When FIL left JNMIL on Christmas Eve, DH woke up that Christmas morning to JNMIL sitting on the couch, chain smoking, and the first words out of her mouth were “Well, you’re the man of the house, now.” To this day, he still is not a fan of Christmas.
JNMIL once attacked DH, and clawed his face with her nails. The friend who picked him up said he looked like he’d been in a fight with Wolverine. She has no memory of this, because she was popping pills.
I could go on. DH’s childhood was fucked. He’d attributed a lot of this to her being addicted to pills for much of his childhood, and by the time I met her she was clean and was very normal and friendly, so it seemed like she’d gotten her life right. The two of them actually had a pretty good relationship then too, so it seemed like it really must have been the pills.
Then of course we get to nowadays with her. She will occasionally call DH to whine about her life, and what JNSIL has done THIS time. Even on his birthday. He might get a “happy birthday”, and then right into the topic of JNSIL. She gripes about us not driving out to see her, and told DH it was pathetic that she hasn’t seen DD in this long. DH will often hear from her whenever JNSIL has a brilliant new scheme to milk relatives for money (last time, it was that JNSIL was bitten on the foot by a brown recluse, and needed $300 or $400 for surgery, which is total BS); she will ask him to call FIL and ask for the money, because FIL won’t pick up their calls anymore. She’s told him before that HE should help his sister since we’re doing well for ourselves, but he shut that shit down. He is firmly NC with JNSIL, and wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire. Yeah, we’re doing good, but we worked our tails off to claw our way up out of poverty, and we’re not giving a dime to that mooch.
JNMIL and JNSIL also hatched a scheme once when JNSIL happened to find out that DD was spending a week with FIL and SMIL (this was back when FIL would pick up her calls, and she heard DD in the background). JNMIL called DH, ranting and raving that JNSIL told her that FIL had molested her as a child (he didn’t—hell, JNSIL called him a few days later asking for money and acting like normal), he’s going to do it to DD too, DH is a terrible father for letting her stay over there, and when I find out, I’m going to take DD and leave him (all this because she was jealous DD was with FIL and SMIL, you guys). So I come home to DH—who is a large, imposing figure who does not cry—in hysterics, not because he believes that FIL did/would do any of it, but because JNMIL took the one thing he’s truly afraid of—losing me and DD—and fucking weaponized it against him. This is the point where I lost any ability to feel sympathy for that bitter, hateful old harpy, and my indifference to her turned to hate.
Now for a bit more on JNSIL to fully round this out and establish her character. She’s been to jail before for passing hot checks. She’s got two sons she doesn’t have custody of, and doesn’t do anything for—when she did have custody, she held them out of school for a year (claimed she was homeschooling), and refused to get appropriate help for her younger son who is severely autistic, saying instead “He’s retarded!” (her words!), and giving up on him. She’s been married and divorced 2-3+ times (no one really knows for sure, but 2 times confirmed, and others she’s claimed). She has a known list of aliases. She is a pathological liar, and will lie even when she’s got nothing to gain from it—seemingly her only gain is entertainment from creating chaos. She won’t hold down a job, and instead lives by mooching off family members, and in some cases stealing from them ( a few months back, she stole between 10k and 20k from JNMIL and SFIL by draining their bank accounts and maxing credit cards after they let her stay with them, and JNMIL didn’t report her because JNSIL said she’d kill herself if she went back to prison). When FIL bought her a truck to try and get her back on her feet, she traded it in for a Cadillac, didn’t make any payments, and got it repo’d. She’s the reason I no longer believe the people who show up on Jerry Springer are actors—they walk among us.
This leads us to today. JNSIL has developed a drug habit, and is now strung the fuck out on God only knows what. This culminated in finding out yesterday that she’s been arrested on five felonies (theft and related, to fuel her habit). And man, did she ever do it this time. FIL called the DA to try and figure out what was going on, and was told “You don’t have enough money to bail her out”. Guys, she’s gotten by all these years by only doing this shit to family members she knew wouldn’t turn her in, but it seems like she decided to branch out, and now she’s finally going to suffer some consequences. GOOD.
The problem we face now though, is DH feels bad for JNMIL. For some reason. He wants us to go visit her. Not only do I have no desire to see her after everything she’s done to him, but more importantly, I don’t want her getting her claws into him again, only to hurt him later AGAIN. He’s the scapegoat/lost child, and she’ll cling to him when JNSIL the GC is out of pocket (which she’s likely to be for some time, this time), but it ultimately ends in heartbreak when JNSIL returns, and everything reverts back to normal. And while he’s the first to say that his mother is a bitch, (he’s even been known to introduce himself as a son of a bitch), and that if you cut her, sulfur and brimstone would pour out (his words), I still see him getting ready to run into the fire to save her. It breaks my heart for him, and makes me hate her more than I already do, because this only ever ends in misery. I’m not sure how to help him. I tried telling him this, and he’s still wanting to go.
I did finally get him to go to therapy, and he had his first session last week, and another this week. Therapist said it’s too early to diagnose, but he definitely has symptoms of a form of PTSD, and more. Would it be reasonable to write a note to the therapist, to discuss JNMIL and the current situation at his next appointment? I don’t want to butt in, but I’d like a professional to give her opinion on this situation, and help him work through whether he really should go, and if so, how best to prepare himself so that he isn’t hurt again.
Why can’t I just stuff the old bat into a shipping container, and send her a few thousand miles away? Anybody know someplace with lots of sun, water, and priests? Not sure if sun will set her on fire or water will melt her, but if neither work, maybe the priests can cast her out.
If I write about her again, I suppose she’ll need a name. She’s saved as Cruella de MIL in my phone (because she looks just like the old animated Cruella and has similar mannerisms), but I know that’s taken. Is Yzma taken?—she and SFIL kinda remind me of Yzma and Kronk (SFIL is a sweetheart, and seems to not really be aware of the shit JNMIL pulls—he also can’t stand JNSIL, and adores DH, DD, and I. If we could get rid of JNMIL and just keep him, we totally would.)
It’s a long, disjointed mess, and I’m sorry.
EDIT: Think I’m going to call her Hagraven. It fits on so many levels. For the non-gamers: https://skyrim.gamepedia.com/Hagraven
submitted by Sylfaein to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]

Internet Gambling.

Internet Gambling.

NJ Promo Codes
Can you imagine being able to place a bet with just a press of a button? Can you imagine playing and betting as long as you want?

Can you imagine gambling from the comfort of your own home?

We know for a fact that gambling is risky business, and unrestrained gambling is just asking for trouble. Compulsive gamblers already have a hard time restraining themselves from the call of casinos and bookies, and now Internet gambling just takes the ante a step further.

With Internet gambling, you don't need hard cash. Everything that is online is so easy to access. Play Baccarat, Blackjack, Craps, Keno, Roulette or Slots. Play all day, all night.
Before the 1990s, gamblers who wanted to place a casino or sports type bet in the United States basically had two choices: they could travel to a legitimate brick-and-mortar gaming establishment or place an illegal wager through a bookie. However, with the emergence of the Internet in the mid-1990s, a new form of gambling appeared; Internet gambling through gaming casinos and sports wagering. Internet gambling can take place on any electronic device that offers Internet access anywhere on the globe.

Internet gambling makes payment options for gambling individuals easy. They can just choose from several types of payment options other than credit cards. These include:

VISA and MasterCard cards: These cards are tied directly to the cardholders bank account. Funds for all transactions are deducted directly from the cardholders bank account, but cardholders can make credit card-type transactions that do not require a personal identification number.

Private-label debit cards: These cards are similar to check cards above but are issued by private companies rather than credit card associations.

On-line payment providers: These companies send and receive funds electronically for such uses as on-line auctions and purchases.

Wire transfers: Some Internet gambling sites promote this method of payment, which allows Internet gambling customers to wire money directly from a bank account to the site.

ìE-cashî or digital cash: It is a digital representation of real money that can be placed on a computer hard drive, smart card and other devices with memory. It can be purchased from an authorised provider.

Internet gambling sites also offer money orders; travellers checks; bank drafts; cashiers, certified, and personal checks; and a number of other electronic banking systems or processors as payment options. With Internet gambling's easy payment options, even a non-gambler would be tempted to try.

Statistics also show that Internet gambling has nearly doubled every year since 1997 ñ in 2001 it exceeded $2 billion. It also boasts 110 sport-related Internet gambling sites.

According to the American Psychological Association, Internet gambling could be just as addictive as alcohol and drugs.

This is a confession from quoted from The Gambling Problem Talking Point website:

î... I am addicted to online poker, not to mention soccer betting and casinos whenever I am in the vicinity of one.

For the longest time I thought I had the beast under control. Thought I was smarter than the pack, and shrewd enough to beat the pack. Considered my betting to be more of an investment than anything else.

How much hav I lost gambling? I am afraid to tally.

Has it ruined my life? Almost ... I guess being from a wealthy family, it helped me to cover the tracks not to mention the losses.

But enough is enough and I would like to kick the habit all together.

I am sorry if I sound a little cocky or arrogant ... I have a problem. And even now am half hearted to completely agree that I do have one.

Will I continue to gamble? I am not sure. I would like to stop, but it is just so easy with the Internet and all.

I guess if I was in NZ, I could join a group one a regular basis and get some help in person. But in Malaysia, how do I do that?

From reading some of the posts here, I share all the common symptoms.

It is a disease, and can destroy the best of people, not to mention families and loved ones a like.

What can I do? How can I help myself...î

Internet gambling is a very slippery slope. It can ruin your life and the life of your loved ones. So the next time Internet gambling knocks on your door, think twice.
submitted by njpromocodes_ac to u/njpromocodes_ac [link] [comments]

Day Zero - NO MORE

I’ve been a gambling addict for 8 years.
To think I have wasted 8 years of my life a prisoner to the casinos makes me incredibly sad. What could I have done with all that time, and all that money? I could have learned a new skill, I could have read so many books, walked my dogs more, enjoyed the sun set along the beach I used to walk several times a week, given more to my relationships, bettered my own mental health. I could have done so much.
I have decided today is the last day I think “I could have” and face my demons head on. I’d like to have something to look back on when I am struggling, so I thought I’d leave a post here as I’ve read many of your stories and it helps to know I am not alone. Maybe someone will read this and feel the same.
I am a female based in the UK in her early 30s, and I am addicted to online slots. I can vividly remember one of the first times I knew I had a problem with gambling, and shamefully it was around the time I started. From the first time a winning line slid into view and coins exploded all over the screen I have been chasing that high. It’s not about the winnings, I can safely say no win would ever be enough for me, when I won any money I would gamble it all back because it was that fleeting moment of winning that I crave. Did it matter that I’d spent £500 to win £50? Nope, my brain just saw that “big win” line and fireworks would go off in my brain. That hit of pure joy followed by the depths of despair as I gambled it all back into the system.
I’ve lost hundreds of thousands of pounds (not an exaggeration and I am extremely lucky I am not in debt to that tune) yet I must not focus on what is gone and cannot be reclaimed back anymore as today I admit I have a problem that must be dealt with immediately.
I feel my soul hurt from gambling all night, until the sun came up this morning and I plied money into the one account I hadn’t set a limit on yet. I’ve easily spent £1000+ this week and I have nothing to show for it. I black out when gambling, losing track of how much I am depositing until I check my back account and feel that rip of fear across my body at how much I have spent. I feel sick, I want to throw my phone across the wall and scream into the darkness of the void I have created.
I have self excluded myself from all the casinos I joined, for at least 5 years. To even think ahead that far is terrifying, so I downloaded the Nomo app (thank you to all who’ve mentioned it on this subreddit) and even as I was putting in the start time for my clock I thought “maybe one last deposit THEN I’ll start”. And therein was my problem, it is always just one more, just one more deposit, just one more spin of the slots, just one more hour, just ONE MORE. So I set the time for that exact moment and came on here to leave my mark of the day I said NO MORE instead.
I will also be deleting any “candy crush” type games on my phone because they also give me that rush of endorphins when I win a level and I’m sick of finding that high from my phone, and whilst I’m baring my truths I also spend at least £100 a month on coins for it. Once again I say NO MORE.
I want to find the joy in real life again, in the everyday moments because I am so conditioned to that gambling high that nothing matches it. That is possibly the saddest realisation of all this, I am not alive, just existing, due to this addiction. I have no doubt it contributes to my anxiety, and I’ve always said I’m just one of those people who is programmed this way instead of taking some responsibility for my actions which exacerbate the symptoms.
I know it will be tough, I know there will be moments when all I want to do is gamble and I must be prepared for that. My husband knows about my gambling but not the extent of it, so once I have pressed post on this I will let him read this, I am so ashamed of myself in this moment, the thought of owning up to my actions makes me want to vomit but I must be truthful from this point if I am going to beat this.
So from today, from this cold hard floor of rock bottom, I say NO MORE.
submitted by volklinbed to problemgambling [link] [comments]

Classification of Internet Addiction

While there’s no denying that many people are addicted to the internet, there’s an ongoing debate about how it should be classified. Some believe internet addiction is very much a mental disorder and should be treated as such. Other believe those who spend too much time online do so because of a separate, pre-existing condition. In other words, internet addiction may be a sign of another problem, not an actual problem itself.
Someone who spends ages shopping online, for example, may actually be addicted to shopping and not necessarily spending time online. Extensive research is being carried out to determine whether addiction to the internet is a disorder of its own or a symptom of another condition - or even if it’s somewhere in between. - pokerstars canada
submitted by erica_walter to u/erica_walter [link] [comments]

Signs and Symptoms of Betting Addiction

Ludomania can, at times, also be referred to as a ‘concealed sickness.’ This is because there are no apparent physical signs and symptoms, like in alcohol or drug addiction. What’s more, the problem gamblers will often minimise or deny the problem even to themselves. Nevertheless, you could be having difficulty if you:
You may gamble till you’ve used your last dollar, then head to the money you aren’t supposed to use. This is money meant for your children’s needs, paying bills, or even credit cards. You may be pushed to sell, steal, or even start accumulating debt just for you to get the betting bankroll.
The moment you start betting, can you walk away? Are you constrained to gamble till you use your last dollar? Increasing your wagers to win already lost money back? Find reviews on mr green casino review
submitted by erica_walter to u/erica_walter [link] [comments]

This Is Your Brain on Drugs: The neurological effects of addiction

Addiction is a disease that affects millions of Americans. It is extremely widespread, with an estimated 8 percent to 10 percent of individuals in the United States 12 years of age or older (between 20 to 22 million people) addicted to at least one substance. The human costs of this problem are incalculable. The annual financial costs, meanwhile, are estimated to be close to $700 billion due to losses in productivity, crime, and additional health care costs associated with addiction.
Just because an individual has a few drinks or very occasionally consumes illicit drugs does not mean that they have a problem with addiction. Furthermore, just because an individual may struggle with the responsible use of a drug like alcohol does not mean they have been overcome by addiction.
Addiction is distinct from substance-use disorder, which is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) as being the recurrent use of drugs or alcohol resulting in clinically and functionally significant impairment. Such impairment can negatively impact one’s health, social networks, and the ability to perform functions necessary for either school or work. The disorder ranges from mild to severe. It is only when substance-use disorder becomes severe that it becomes synonymous with addiction.
In the past, addiction was considered to require a substance. In other words, one was addicted to alcohol, to nicotine, to heroin, and so on. Within this paradigm, it was believed that regular use of the substance in question eventually led to the individual’s development of both a physical dependency and a tolerance for it. The latter would lead to the need to increase the amount of the substance consumed to achieve the desired effect. The former would result in withdrawal symptoms when use was discontinued. Some of the most common substances that can produce this type of addiction include opioids, stimulants like cocaine, nicotine, and alcohol. The use of the latter two substances is, in general, more socially accepted than the use of illicit drugs, like cocaine and heroin, but they still can produce deleterious effects.
While this depiction of addiction is still largely accurate, it does not account for other types of addiction that do not involve substances. Such addictions pertain to compulsive activities. At this time, gambling is the only behavioral addiction recognized by the DSM-5, but a growing body of research suggests that other behaviors possess similar pathologies when done compulsively. These include video game-playing, binge-watching television, and having sex. Addictions of this kind may not be as physically harmful as addictions involving substances like cigarettes, alcohol, or opioids, but they can still cost lasting social and emotional damage to those caught in the web of addiction, as well as an addicted individual’s close friends and family.
Why Don’t Addicts Just Quit?
Individuals who are struggling with addiction do not simply lack the willpower to stop. The belief that one’s inability to break the cycle of addiction is due to personal shortcomings is not accurate. While inaccurate, such a belief is not irrational. Many individuals can enjoy the occasional glass of wine or weekend trip to Atlantic City without incident. From their perspective, they do not experience a strong compulsion to continue using an intoxicating substance or participating in an activity such as gambling once it has become clear that continued use is a bad idea. They can stop, and they assume that others should be able to, as well.
Individuals with addiction do not experience the world in this manner. They may earnestly wish to quit, but they cannot do so. This is not a question of willpower. Consequently, we should think of addiction not as a personal shortcoming or moral failure, but as a neurobiological issue. Certain brain functions of those who have developed an addiction become hardwired in a manner that allows the addiction to thrive. Furthermore, certain individuals are more genetically predisposed to develop addictions than others.
What Addiction Does to the Brain
Addictive drugs and behaviors activate regions in the brain that are associated with reward pathways and the pleasure center of the brain. When activated by the perceived reward, the brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which causes an individual to feel good. Certain normal activities—such as when one eats, has sex, or accomplishes a difficult task—serve as rewards. They activate the brain’s pleasure center and result in the release of dopamine. Using certain drugs, such as nicotine, alcohol, opioids, or cocaine, also releases dopamine. Similarly, winning at a game of chance or doing well at a video game do, too.
Over time, dopamine ceases to be released merely due to the use of these drugs or participation in these activities (i.e., “the rewards”). Similar to how Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov noted that dogs can be conditioned to salivate once they understand that a bell indicates that dinner is about to be served, the brain becomes flooded with dopamine in anticipation of the reward, and certain external stimuli or cues tell an individual with addiction that a reward is imminent. These cues (the smell of a bar, the bright lights of the casino, seeing friends with whom one used drugs, etc.) then trigger cravings.
This kind of conditioning persists well after the drug has been flushed from the body. Consequently, a person with addiction may still be troubled by these cravings even after years of sobriety.
Certain drugs, particularly opioids and cocaine, also disrupt the brain’s reward center in a manner that is distinct from more natural rewards by preventing satiation. When one attains a natural reward, by eating a meal, for example, one’s dopamine cells eventually stop firing. Any excess dopamine within the brain’s synapses is then removed by the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Opioids and cocaine, however, release a far more potent dose of dopamine and then prevent the clearing away of excess dopamine by inhibiting the release of GABA. Opioids and cocaine effectively keep GABA from doing its job, which means that additional dopamine continues to flood the brain’s receptors.
The rush of dopamine is so rewarding that, eventually, the person with addiction becomes more focused on obtaining the dopamine release produced by the drug or activity and less focused on obtaining more natural rewards. The addiction effectively reinforces itself.
People with addiction may not even be conscious of the cues associated with their addiction. A study conducted by Anna Rose Childress, a neuroscientist based at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Studies of Addiction, found that salience attribution (which is the mental equivalent of focusing a camera on one object and leaving the remaining objects in one’s field of vision a series of blurs) is so powerful among even former addicts that they may not even be conscious of the cues. When a group of recovering cocaine addicts were shown an image of a crack pipe for just 33 milliseconds, a period of time one-tenth the length of a blink, the reward circuitry in their brains lit up. Even though they were not cognizant of seeing the pipe, the portion of the brain that activates reward pathways knew it was there.
On top of altering the reward pathways within the brain, addiction can also significantly reduce the amount of dopamine that is released either by natural rewards, drug use, or compulsory behavior. Not only do such individuals become less interested in natural rewards, but they also feel as though they need more and more of the drug or compulsory behavior to achieve the same level of euphoria as when the addiction was in its nascent state. Furthermore, on top of the severe withdrawal symptoms associated with drugs like alcohol and opioids, the absence of the desired reward leads to stress responses that result in dysphoria and anxiety. As addiction becomes more severe, the individual often becomes less concerned with experiencing euphoria than escaping the distress associated with non-use.
Addiction also alters portions of the prefrontal cortical regions—the areas of the brain responsible for overseeing executive functions like decision making and responding to exterior stimuli. This seriously impairs an individual’s capacity for regulating behavior and emotions, compounding one’s inability to follow through on making a healthy decision. Once again, this only reinforces the addiction.
Once again, addiction is a disease. It has pernicious effects on the brain, particularly neural pathways that control reward-seeking behavior. It is not a moral failing or a weakness, and it cannot be treated as such. People struggling with addiction can’t just quit, and “tough love” approaches can exacerbate feelings of social isolation and result in one’s sinking deeper into addiction.
While there are pharmacological remedies that can help to offset cravings and to make quitting easier, this is only the beginning in a long and arduous process that often requires abstaining from environments, stimuli, and individuals that can trigger cravings. Such strategies can help to curb cravings, but they are not always foolproof. The best way to overcome addiction is to not only abstain but also to restore healthy reward networks in the brain and to reestablish healthy social networks, either through familial support or a 12-step program.
To learn more about how you can help a loved one through the difficult process of recovery, you can find more information by visiting the website for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
submitted by SamoonAhmadMD to addiction [link] [comments]

Masked Corpse- Miu Iruma

Boob. Boob indeed. Boobs are something that exist on females and are something that visibly appear on her chest. She has big ones. I know this because her introduction spells this out on top of becoming a meek mess after Shuichi insists that he has higher standards than druggie hoes. Speaking of drugs, she mentions wanting to get high in the intro, and having to struggle with being an addict or suffering from withdrawal symptoms would explain a lot but after it is introduced it is promptly forgotten just like she is a Jojo character, but Mondo did it the best and Junko already has big boobed blonde girl jojo reference to her belt too since she had a pose once or twice. Sadly this means I can give Miu no points for either of those. Still tho, her boobs exist, but they aren’t good and are improperly used. In her first free time with Kayayday, nothing but boobs are talked about, and Miu even goes out to touch hers and oust her as the flat faker that she is, SHE JUST GETS SLAPPED AWAY AND BACKS DOWN, WHAT THE FUCK!? You just can’t tease a hot lesbian sex scene then completely blueball the audience! Miu just backs down there but didn’t to fuckin Shuichi in the Love Hotel, talk about inconsistency as well! Having a character all about sex just to not go through with a perfect chance, could you be more disappointing? Kodaka you coward!
There is surprisingly more to Miu than completely blueballing the audience. As the game’s obligatory mechanic talent character, she is bound by Code Ce342. Section 5 Article 6 of Danganronpa Law to have her talent be used for the sake of moving the plot forward moreso than pretty much anyone else. She originally didn’t want to, but the powers of blueballing come back to haunt me as she whimpers and caves in just by Kaede and Shuichi bowing down, teasing her by not having sex yet again, until she makes the cameras for their plan to catch the mastermind. Then she’s helpful with her drone during the investigation, and in the trial she manages to go by fine enough after being suspected due to the cameras. She’s more uneventful in the second chapter, aside from stripping down to ward Gonta off over the whole Meet and Greet. Then, finally fed up with getting no sex, she uses maintenance to go after Kiibo while Shuichi backs the fuck away, not willing to be the third wheel in the unknownst to them borderline POV porno for the audience, shame as that would’ve sold well enough and he was more than fine with the man’s fantasy, completely and utterly breaking his character too, have to save that for his cut though! Then she’s more to the wayside again aside from oddly managing to guess Korekiyo correctly for no reason whatsoever, just like with Kirumi, on top of continuing the trend of her being wrong in every Scrum, weird.
Chapter 4 is her time to shine as v3 continued the series trend of loving to give characters a bit too much focus in their respective death chapters. With this one, there’s the virtual world which was more than convenient enough for her to reprogram into her Golden Girl Genius certified 100% perfect Murder the Shit out of Kokichi plan, finally weary of it all because reasons, and needing to escape. Then she utterly goes to meet up with him, and is caught off guard as Gonta ultimately kills her, fully cementing her as Kokichi’s inferior bitch as she has been for the entire damned game. During this time, she still managed to crank out a few things for chapter 5’s plot because Mechanic Character™. Ultimately this is the only thing that people give a shit about her over except for like, Kiibo and Monotaro, the latter who just died which ultimately gives nobody too much of a lasting impression as Kiibo has his own conflicts to go on about regarding the endgame instead of Miu herself as for what’s ultimately important for his character arc of self discovery. So, within this what is so bad?
Miu is meant to be a character who is very visibly insecure all throughought her time, and it shows quite a lot. However, does this mean it’s ever really properly explored in quite frankly any capacity whatsoever? No. Not really. Ya see, Miu is the game’s obligatory designated comic relief character, and given I just cut DR2’s version of that last round, you can probably notice a trend on how I feel about them in terms of the overall plot as a character that’s extended beyond her talent. Miu’s in this bizarre crossover area where she is both the plot relevant mechanic, but also the generally personality insignificant comic relief, so she has both worlds to balance there and it gives her this constant presence of something that ultimately goes nowhere. It’s perfectly understandable and a bit refreshing to have a more simple motive of someone just growing tired and wanting to escape, and given the stress she’s constantly put under, there is something that can be seen there. However, due to being comic relief, this is never touched upon seriously. Miu’s whole routine is saying rude, crass, and offensive shit, sometimes to the extreme points of reaching out to physically touch people in inappropriate ways or even mocking the dead as part of a joke. She’s incredibly dense, pretty much too dense for belief, whenever she shrivels up as one of her main responses to such behavior, almost too much even for someone who’s supposed to be socially inept. She sometimes becomes horny at certain accusations, but that still doesn’t equate to fully owning up to it as that’s more saved for being insulted such as being called a cum dumpster. It still retreats back into the routine of either that happening again, her being aggressive, or becoming a timid mess incapable of doing anything for a brief time. All of this only goes into playing over the same cycle again. When that’s treated as a means of comedy above all else, her suddenly feeling down enough to be willing to commit murder, somehow win the trial, and escape is a drastic stretch on its own. The others could be part of the front given she’s clearly not well, or something could’ve snapped, but she isn’t the type of character that can properly convey that well. Danganronpa’s more wacky style can blur the line of absurdism and a more grounded realism, and it feels like they tried to blur the line for that with Miu, and it doesn’t hit that best of both worlds scenarios. Ultimately, with the way she’s just cast aside as a person, it feels like she was more of a victim for Kokichi to make a power move against someone who’s smart enough, as her inventions are then used on in chapter 5 right afterwards. At least they got used like she wanted them to be? It’s tragic on its own as is that she’s forgotten, but it’s a bit telling that despite her insecurities everyone just clearly hated her and didn’t want to bother, basically casting Miu herself aside after she dies. Quite frankly, I can’t blame them. She’s an unstable mess but the repetitiveness makes her effectively come off as just a never ending loop of sex jokes and that’s how she’s mostly used/treated.
This is more to her within her bonus content, but there is also her issue of dealing with potential abandonment which is also something that is only scrapped on at a surface level within the love hotel of all places, which would explain social awkwardness if only it ever tied into literally anything else given how she only tried to be close to anyone in particular with Shuichi in their free times, or Kiibo while still having an odd way of treating him as some kind of toy, and when convenient enough she was fine with forcing him to play along as Monotaro’s “father”. Speaking of her free times….I surprisingly am fine with them. They excel compared to everything else in terms of exploring Miu’s insecurities with how she clings onto Shuichi, fully highlighting her unhinged behavior for what it was the entire time, all in some weird borderline yandere-esque manner. You have to get by her being proud of...certain inventions, but having her ego tested in a one on one setting with Shuichi’s responses were far better than the group setting, as she was eventually forced to react to him and him only instead of blending back in. However, there’s other oddities sprinkled in there too that come out of absolutely nowhere, such as her claiming that she’s an augmented human. It still touches in her responses to others being worried for her, and an admittedly rushed love confession that works on purpose...at least I think it was on purpose. They do leave off at an awkward spot where she’s still fine with the yandere stuff, forcing him along to things, etc. On its own it’s a bit of a mix in terms of how it properly handles reactions to this from Shuichi as he’s a bit too fine with certain stuff, but it’s neat enough and the only thing you ever get with Miu as even Kaede left off theirs by just being pissed at her when alone for an extended time as opposed to being fine in the story when she contributed with the cameras, so I give these a Decent 6. Passable, but not enough to make up for everything else since I value the main story above all else as already explained in both the Akane and Ibuki cuts. If this was the kind of focus she was allowed to give for her as a personality, then I’d be fine with her here. However as mentioned before, she is the designated comic relief. Characters who give that such as Kokichi who aren’t the designated comic relief are allowed to express more, whereas Miu only does in those free times which the series can tend to use as a last ditch effort for anyone, so overall she suffers here.
Comedy is quite frankly incredibly subjective, but since I cut Ibuki I’m more than fine with going after it! Miu herself is at least bringing more variety to the table than the previous pervert characters, but most of her humor is still crass in some way, which leads to some of the lesser moments such as “Tencrotch” feeling forcibly dirty for the sake of making her a dick despite the vague attempts at creating a sympathetically tortured character here and there. At the very least, she can provide some occasional banter with Kokichi, create some good reactions such as Ryoma’s deadpan glare to her in his lab’s introductory scene, and can enhance the mood such as her role in setting up 3-2’s bonus casino scene, objectively the best thing in thisd entire series, and how she and Kokichi are the most openly joyful at Kaito’s defeat there. Still though, as mentioned before she does ultimately suffer from the mix of comedy and a more serious tone, so with some of that humor feeling more forced on occasion, it goes too far. This rings especially true in that one of her reactions is her being turned on by being scolded. It fits her being twisted in nature, but leads to overall disappointment with how it leads to her routine being the same no matter how unique she can possibly get. It gives her no reason to ultimately change, so couple that with her heel turn in 3-4, and something along the line just comes across as unnatural for Miu as a whole character. I appreciate her for being an improvement on the others, but there’s enough drawbacks for it to not be a fully saving grace thanks to poor timing and utilization outside of each incident as its own separate case.
This is where Miu suffers the most within the overall story as her constant comic back and forth prevents her from forming too many meaningful relations, which appropriately reflects in almost nobody giving a shit about her post death, quite possibly the least out of any student besides Rantaro who at least has the excuse of being an intentionally standoffish first victim. Firstly, the only one she fully gravitates towards is Kiibo, and their dynamic is incredibly hit or miss. As the mechanic, she takes the role of sticking near him for upgrades over various features, most of his only end up having one total use. As for personality, she bosses him around a bit more than the usual, given she forces him into things such as the maintenance routines and being Monotaro’s pretend father. Overall I don’t really see any reason for Kiibo to like her, and while the Monotaro thing in chapter 4 was honestly cute it can leave a bit of a sour taste behind. Besides him, most common is how she and Kokichi banter with each other in an insulting and degrading way, with the main outcome of these being her turned on a lot. This goes on until he has Gonta murder her, who was also someone she had brief interactions with such as...saying he could masturbate to the memory of her streaking in her underwear. There’s also Shuichi and Kaede who have the odd interactions in her FTE’s, as mentioned before Shuichi reacts a bit too fine with her being unhinged in theirs despite showing occasional discomfort and it being the best insight into her. As for Kaede, I used to like Irumatsu a lot but now don’t there’s some interesting potential tapped into there as they have a few similarities such as their pushy personalities, aesthetic, etc. However, given that Kaede only exists for one chapter and only has 2 FTE’s with her (plus TDP if you wanna count that) there’s not much explored, and it comes across as Kaede ending up incredibly and justifiably pissed at her, which is sadly nothing new nor interesting in the grand scheme of things. The rest she has occasional spats here and there such as Angie over the long contested battle of God and Science, Korekiyo being a hypocritical ass motherfucker by telling her to shut up about her horniness over everything despite him being like that in his own way, her going after Tenko post-mortem as Himiko is mourning, and speaking of Tenko this is more to her but it is funny how Tenko’s in the same game with the only truly “degenerate” girl which sadly wasn’t touched on. As for the rest, nothing is ultimately there to warrant as noteworthy. Danganronpa is written in a way to highlight certain dynamics, and Miu ultimately doesn’t bounce off of anyone outside of reactions to a few of her jokes, leaving her lacking here as well.
Replay Value
I fully understand that this can be seen as more subjective, but it does greatly affect my perspective on Miu so I have to include it. The first impact of the game ultimately still matters a lot as it’s what the players experience is intended to be for the most part, so I don’t disregard that. However, with things that require a deeper look into such as this kind of contest, I feel the need to go back to make sure everything is remembered properly, and sometimes it can be cool to go into deeper levels. Simply put, Miu is quite possibly the worst mix for this outlook in the entire franchise as going back on her only furthers my disappointment in how she is handled. Because I know of her untimely demise and the factors of how ultimately nobody cares for her, it just makes the issues I do have ultimately outweigh the positives I mentioned, and make them frustrating in the process. She is for the most part untapped into outside of showing basic signs, and the repetition is ultimately what hammers it in. Seeing her as the designated comic relief reveals nothing new that could be interesting, while highlighting how wasted I personally felt about her negative aspects in a larger scale. Miu was fun but over time became a bit more stale, especially with how she got turned on a lot. Sadly, the negative aspects were what stood out more as everything is surface level with her, so while I can acknowledge certain things are fine in that vacuum, the overall feeling that I come out with is...disappointment above all else. She doesn’t change enough and given she’s visibly upset and insecure, there’s no reason for that. It’s too much to go off of, even for someone as dense as she is, which is why I’m corpsing her here.
Why nobody else?
Since I used corpse I’ve gotta bit to unpack here. Let’s do this.
Kokichi Ouma is bad but at least enjoyable pre fourth trial and he is guaranteed to be revived so fuck that noise I will not contribute to Kokichi getting a positive revive this early on, he deserves nothing.
Komaru Naegi should go out like, next round but more as a “you exist” rather than a “you suck and need to get the fuck out” type of character. Extremely overhyped and I’ll be disappointed to see her likely get far, but oh well.
Mikan has issues but has enough positives in trope subversion with her backstory, and as shitty as Despair Disease is, it’s still the “remembering” disease so there’s something hinted at there at the very least. She’s also one of the most compelling trial performances for a killer, roasts the shit out of Nagito, and her thighs>miu’s boobs I fucking said it.
Not available but- At least two separate people speculated that I in particular would cut Mahiru, so it’s really funny to see her go out before me. While I fully agree with Mahiru going out at this point, I still would’ve cut Miu here anyways as with her poll support gone these past two rounds, she’s no longer a threat to go any further and could’ve been nerfed out at any time with relative ease.
*Why did I use a skill instead of normal cutting these bozos?
Last time I said Hiyoko would go out to another and this time I am sure of it!!! At least, there’s more certainty to Hiyoko this round than Miu as I’m the only one with Corpse who doesn’t like her, plus I do have Miu technically lower anyways.
Angie is someone who I was most mixed on before but this post cleared up a lot. I’m still mixed on her but I can’t see myself targeting her whatsoever for the forseeable future, so this was the perfect way to stall me from going after a character. Kudos there and I’ll even need to remind myself to nom it for best writeup if we do the best of again on the main sub this year. If I forget then I’m sorry for having a shit memory.
My issue with Gonta is that he only acts up whenever persuaded to by Kokichi, thus lessening the impact of him making certain decisions thus just making him more of a sacrificial lamb. However, there’s still a conflict of handling certain issues such as others babying him which warrants him going further than me. He’s still pretty inoffensive despite that so I can live with him going by.
Jataro is my son and I will not let him die by my hands, I said I wanted him to last until exactly this round but his puppet thing is cool enough to warrant living longer.
Junko is an utter fucking tranwreck but instant revive from someone with the worst takes so far just ain’t worth it plus she’s still less of a threat than Miu anyways, only I would corpse her but a few would normal cut Junko at some point, right?
Kazuichi’s Sonia thing is bad but people downplay other aspects of him. If the Sonia thing wasn’t as bad as it was he’d be top 5 material tbh, and the Sonia thing gets grating but he still manages to fit in cool things like getting blown up and creating Minimaru.
Korekiyo is my second fav and the best killer performance, these arent the guaranteed reasons why he’s nommed but since I have a small chance to get on a soapbox here in case he’s not cut and I don’t have to revive this round, fuck the whole “incest ruins him” take it’s not even that fucking big compared to everything else, and also fuck the “he’s ruined by being crazy” shit, he was from the beginning and ignoring that just shows you didnt give enough of a fuck to look into him before so suddenly caring about who he was before that is idiotic.
Kotoko I don’t care about but want 34th to annoy one person. This is sadly for 37th, not 34th. Barring revives that must be left up to Bokkun.
Monokuma should die but like...inoffensive mascot. He’s genuinely good in DR1 at least.
Not hammering Mukuro because I only nommed her due to DR3, it’s bad enough to warrant her out this round but every other appearance of hers is cool enough.
Nekomaru quite possibly has the most individual sacrifice of any character and is cool enough. Should go out somewhere in the 20’s, cutting him here below characters like fucking Maki who isn’t even nommed would be asinine though.
Ruruka I am neutral on and given that I played part in Bokkun’s change on her from last round, it’d be weird to cut her myself. Highest DR3 is deserved tho, her or Kizakura. Should go out soon tho but the only other Ruruka dislikers were preoccupied and oh god oh fuck with neth last next round I unintentionally led to Ruruka top 30 being possible what the fuck have I done
submitted by trophy9258 to DRRankdown2 [link] [comments]

I have smoked cigarettes over half my life. 30yr old whose smoked for 16 years. Day 6.

I was 14 years old when I smoked my first cigarette. It was the summer before high school. I felt an over powering need to rebel and began stealing my mother's cigarettes. She was a chain smoker and would stub all her cigarettes out half way leaving an unlimited supply of "halfies" that fed my adolescent addiction to nicotine. At the age of 16, I began dating a 19 year old who took over as my designated cigarette supplier until I was old enough to buy my own.
At age 18 I got a job as a nursing assistant. I began to feel ashamed and stigmatized for smoking but couldn't gather the courage to even try to quit until I was 23. I quit cold Turkey for nearly 4 months before I convinced myself that I could "enjoy" an occasional cigarette at the casino or bar.... obviously that one cigarette reignited a full fledged nicotine addiction that has now continued for 7 years. I turned 30 two months ago and realized I have been smoking cigarettes over half my life.
Four years ago I got my Registered Nurse license. Yes, I am an RN. I care for patients regularly that have COPD, heart disease, vascular disease, etc from smoking!!! I have attempted about 3 or 4 other quits, usually lasting 2-5 days before smoking again. I carry so much shame and have for years. I've hid this secret from everyone in my professional life including several really good work friends.
I smoked my last cigarette February 24th at 11:15pm. Cold Turkey.
I read Allan Carr's book, twice. Downloaded the Smoke Free app. Browsed whyquit.com. Long time lurker of this sub. But it's been rough. Major brain fog. I can't even really say I've had individual cravings because I've just been obsessing about cigarettes 24/7. It HAS gotten better, slightly. I am slowly realizing how brainwashed I really am. I feel like this addiction is like a parasite in my brain that continuously tries to trick me. I will find myself justifying smoking again over the craziest things. Luckily I am getting better at telling myself "That's ridiculous" and reminding myself that it wont always be this bad. I also know there is not one positive aspect of smoking.
I think worst part is the depression that has accompanied this quit. I'm highly irritable. I'm also just feeling like there is nothing in life to look forward to (I know this is irrational but the feeling is still real to me). I can't help but feel sorry for myself and basically mope around. I love cooking, spending time with my family, going outdoors, etc. but all I want to do is watch TV or sleep to numb my mind. Any tips to snap out of it and quit feeling sorry for myself? I just want to fast forward a year and have smoking behind me.
TL;DR Registered nurse who smoked from age 14 to 30. Quit cold Turkey 6 days ago. Facing pretty severe depression more than any other withdraw symptom.
submitted by kransho to stopsmoking [link] [comments]

How to Recognize the Signs of Compulsive Gambling - YouTube - YouTube Inside the brain of a gambling addict - BBC News - YouTube Jeux d'argent : il s'est laissé dépasser par son addiction ... Jouer Sa Vie, l'addiction aux jeux d'argent et de hasard ... Gambling Addiction Help: How to stop gambling Forever and ... Problem Gambling: No One Wins - YouTube

One of the many symptoms of gambling addiction is losing a lot of money. This is quite obvious, even to people who have never gambled in their lives. Money-related issues connected to problem gambling go much deeper, however. The desire to win money is often present during the early development stages of gambling addiction. Some people dream about a huge win that could change their lives ... Gambling addiction is commonly treated using cognitive and behavioral therapies that treat the root psychological causes of your addiction. These therapies also help you identify and change negative, unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that may have led to your gambling addiction. Treatments for gambling addiction can be tailored especially for you or your loved one based on the factors ... Symptoms of addiction that cause mental disorders include the following. An inability to stop using: In many cases, such as a dependence on nicotine, alcohol, or other substances, a person will ... The symptoms of gambling addiction remain the same whether a person frequents an actual casino or online betting sites. Be it playing the lottery, slot machines or playing poker, the addiction cycle functions the same way. Symptoms. Also known as compulsive gambling, pathological gambling, and problem gambling, an actual addiction diagnosis involves one to four main symptoms that exist apart ... These are grouped as either physical symptoms or emotional symptoms. You might experience some, all, or none of the symptoms listed here. Emotional Gambling Withdrawal Symptoms. To better understand gambling withdrawal, there is need to comprehend the role of brain chemistry and dopamine in gambling addiction. The gambling withdrawal period ... Read on to find out about the symptoms, causes and effects of gambling addiction. Are There Different Types of Gambling Addiction? Gambling is a diverse activity, so different types of gambling addiction exist as well. It is not always obvious when someone is addicted to gambling. Contrary to popular belief, the act of gambling is not restricted to slot machines, cards and casinos. Purchasing ... Gambling addiction relapse is a part of the overall addiction treatment program. It is not just an inability to tame the cravings. In fact, it is a dysfunctional response to a tempting situation. Typically, it occurs during the first few weeks after giving up an addiction. Then the risk decreases gradually. This is as the time of abstinence extends. Gambling Addiction, Symptoms And Treatment. 2019-09-05. Gambling is highly addictive, and the statistics so far are worrying. Research shows that gambling addiction is related to alcoholism, PTSD, mental illness, college wave, and criminal activity. Three to five gamblers out of a hundred are compulsive gamblers. Several factors cause gambling addiction and range from biological/psychological ... The symptoms of gambling addictions are easy to spot — if you know what to look for. Gambling troubles can fall on anyone from any side of life. Typically, gambling often starts from an enjoyable, harmless deviation to a dangerous obsession with severe consequences. Whether your bet is in a casino or online gambling, addictionRead more It is important to remember that not everyone suffering from gambling addiction will experience the same symptoms or level of intensity. A few of the most common types of gambling addiction are as ...

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How to Recognize the Signs of Compulsive Gambling - YouTube

Un film de Vincent Bidault avec le soutien de la SEDAP Ils sont devenus accros au jeu. Sans aucune limite : ils ont gagné, perdu et n’ont jamais cessé de jouer. « Jeux d'argent : quand ils font perdre la raison… ... How to Stop Gambling addiction? I try to help You on Gambling Addiction.Few years ago I was highly addicted to hard drugs, like cocaine, Alcohol, Cigarettes,... Whether you know a problem gambler or treat clients with a gambling addiction, this program is an eye-opening look at a serious mental health concern and the... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Watch more Addiction & Substance Abuse videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/171658-How-to-Recognize-the-Signs-of-Compulsive-Gambling Compulsive gambling is ... What happens inside the brain of a gambling addict when they make a bet - and can the secret to their addiction be found within the brain itself? BBC Panoram...